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Original Post: 8/5/24 on CBA Blogfish “I can lie, but I won’t.” – Mark Twain, commenting on a literal interpretation of the fabled story wherein young George Washington confessed he’d chopped down the cherry tree. The decision to refrain from lying requires social-emotional skills. In developmental psychology, the capacity to tell a lie manifests when children are about 2 to 3 years old. The lie demonstrates a developmental milestone: the child’s awareness that their own internal thoughts differ from those of others. By age 8, children’s lies become more complex, taking plausibility and the listener’s mood and mindset into account. Telling deliberate lies also requires executive functions such as planning and organization. Social Awareness is a factor affecting the deployment of this skill. A child is not encouraged to tell Nana her new hairstyle is ugly, nor to say, “I hate it!” when unwrapping a birthday gift. When blunt honesty will hurt another’s feelings, a lie becomes the polite thing to do. Yet the stress of social pressure may prompt a child to lie, when that child feels insecure about themselves and their social status. Should you lie to protect your own feelings? Let’s ask Clyde the Hippo.  The cover illustration for CLYDE LIED shows anxious Clyde surrounded by his surprised, worried, and disapproving peers. Oh, no! How did this happen? Can it be fixed?
The story begins when Clyde returns to school after a long break. He is eager to reconnect with his friends, who had been away on trips. Amanda gives an impressive summary of her exploits in downhill skiing. Toby chimes in, “That’s nothing!” and describes his awesome experience surfing. Dot counters, “Well, top this!” and shares his major success fishing. Now it’s Clyde’s turn. His friends beam expectantly. Poor Clyde searches his brain. The social situation calls for the most amazing vacation story of all. But Clyde only stayed home and watched a television show set in outer space. The stress is too much. Clyde blurts out that he went to Space Camp. Not only that, but he went to Mars. He even has a picture of himself with a Martian. Whoops! Clyde’s lie has stretched the limits of plausibility. His friends want proof. Clyde promises to bring the picture tomorrow. Desperate, Clyde tries to disguise his favorite plush toy as a Martian, so he can take the picture. This results in quite a mess, and a rather scruffy “Martian.” It’s no use. The next morning, Clyde musters up his courage. He confesses that he didn’t go on a “cool trip.” He made up the story so the others wouldn’t tease him. Clyde’s honesty prompts his friends to reveal that they all lied, too. Yes, they went on trips, but they each had embarrassing difficulties with the mountain, the ocean, and the fishing. Turns out they all were in the same boat, so to speak. Smiles reappear as the friends unburden themselves and refocus on what they have in common. It's a challenge to know what to say when honesty seems threatening. With undeveloped social-emotional skills, a child may resort to dysfunctional strategies – like lying – that end up creating even more of a mess. CLYDE LIED may appear simple on the surface, but it addresses complex social-emotional issues of insecurity, self-doubt, and social status. After all, childhood itself is not as simple as it might appear.
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Original Post: 7/1/24 on CBA Blogfish “No one knows what it's like to be the bad man, to be the sad man, behind blue eyes...” -- Pete Townshend (The Who) In this song an individual voices his anger and propensity to violence, along with hope that, nevertheless, someone will look out for his welfare. Themes that are much too heavy for a picture book. Aren’t they? Author Kathryn Otosi didn't think so.  When I opened LUNCH EVERY DAY, I expected to meet a fictional protagonist striving to fix a problem or reach a goal. A victim of bullying, or a silent bystander. They would find their voice and confront the bully. Perhaps they’d even lead the bully to embrace empathy and kindness.
Instead, I met the bully. Notice that the book’s cover does not tell you LUNCH EVERY DAY is the true story of a turning point in the life of Jim Perez, an administrator for California's Orange County Violence Prevention & Intervention Grant. Known for his work in gang prevention and anti-bullying initiatives, Jim received an Ambassador of Peace Award from the Violence Prevention Coalition of Orange County in 2013.* But once upon a time, young Jimmy was the school bully. In LUNCH EVERY DAY, Jimmy targets a skinny kid. Day after day, he shoves the boy and takes his lunch. Jimmy’s scorn and anger jump from the page. But Jimmy makes no excuses for his behavior. No appeals for sympathy. He barely hints at his personal difficulties: the skinny kid’s lunch is “Better than mine. Bet his home is better than mine, too.” Then everyone in the class – even Jimmy – gets an invitation to the skinny kid’s birthday party. Jimmy does go, but when he gets there, he tries to be invisible. The skinny kid’s mother notices him, though. Jimmy appears terrified as the lady walks right up to him and … … promises Jimmy she will send her son to school with an extra lunch. Every day. For him. In an interview**, Jim describes that moment as “surreal,” as emerging from darkness into light. Looking back, he calls it a “seed that was planted.” A seed of “unconditional love from a stranger.” As Jim matured, this seed grew. He has devoted his adult energies to planting such seeds. LUNCH EVERY DAY does not spell it out for the reader. Instead, the story challenges the reader to make inferences, cueing us to look deeply into the text and illustrations. We witness Jimmy’s actions, and those of the skinny kid and his mother. We frown at Jimmy’s aggression. The skinny kid's party invitation is unexpected, as is the mother's promise to provide lunches for Jimmy. We wonder. It’s up to us to discern what’s under the surface. Why does Jimmy behave as he does? Why does the skinny kid still invite him to his birthday? Why does the skinny kid’s mother treat Jimmy with such kindness? And, at the story’s end, Jimmy says, “I got lunch every day … and a whole lot more.” What “more” did he get? I’ll be reading and discussing this book with kids, to learn what they make of it. Maybe you will, too! * Sources: https://www.ocregister.com/2013/06/12/about-the-violence-prevention-coalition/ https://www.bookpassage.com/event/kathryn-otoshi-lunch-every-day-online-event **Kathryn Otoshi and Jim Perez discuss LUNCH EVERY DAY https://youtu.be/uWMCw3WgFKw?si=QJS8e4u9KM8PIeNh Original Post: 6/3/24 on CBA Blogfish Thomas Edison said, “When you have exhausted all possibilities, remember this: You haven’t.” The Self-Awareness domain of SEL, includes knowing one’s strengths and limitations and developing an understanding that success requires struggle, effort, and willingness to try new strategies. Seeing mistakes and setbacks as part of learning is vital for developing a “growth mindset.” Failure becomes a motivator, rather than a stopping point. With this in mind, let’s enter this picture-book school:  The School of Failure: A Story About Success Rosie J. Pova (Author) Monika Filipina (Illustrator) Yeehoo Press, 2022 Reminiscent of the maxim, “Don’t let perfect get in the way of good,” this story shows that failure
is not the enemy of success. We meet three characters who audition for roles in famous fairy tales. They all fail. Non-Evil Queen is unfit to play an antagonist for Snow White. Wolfred is too nice to be the bad guy in Little Red Riding Hood, and Zinderella does not please Cinderella’s produce. Each declares their failure is “the end of the world.” A fairy godmother announces that instead, the three are “beginning a brand new chapter” and promises that their dreams will come true once they’ve graduated from The School of Failure. As the three students suffer abundant setbacks, they are praised for persevering and “failing your way to fabulous.” The more they fail, the better they understand their strengths and goals. Ultimately, the Non-Evil Queen, Wolfred, and Zinderella learn to live “happily – and imperfectly – ever after.” It's worth noting that fear of failure can block creativity as well as perseverance. Along these lines, I remember sitting in a second-grade classroom during a reading comprehension lesson. A lively discussion of the story stopped when the teacher asked the students to describe the main character’s bedroom. The room fell silent. The story did not describe the main character’s bedroom! Not knowing a correct answer, no one would not risk an incorrect one. When the prompt was rephrased – “Based on what you know about the main character, what do you imagine his bedroom would look like?” – Hands went up, and the room filled with ideas. Original Post: 5/6/24 on CBA Blogfish When I was a child, two different ice cream trucks regularly visited my neighborhood. We eagerly gobbled goodies from both, but we announced their arrivals differently. Truck A sparked shrieks of delight. Truck B set off a singsong ditty among us that rhymed the name of the brand with phrases proclaiming this ice cream tasted bad and made us sick. I joined in, never questioning how the song came about. One day, as Truck B arrived, I was alone on the porch when the other children in the neighborhood started singing. As the scene unfolded before me, suddenly I saw and heard it through the eyes and ears of the truck driver. My heart hurt. I realized how awful that nice man must feel, being greeted by that song. Never again did I sing it. That moment was a step in my development of Social Awareness, which includes capacities for taking another’s perspective, feeling compassion, showing concern for others’ feelings, and demonstrating empathy. Here's a classic picture book that shows development of Social Awareness:
Originally released by Mulberry Books in 2008, Kevin Henkes’ book was re-released by Greenwillow Books in 2020 as Chrysanthemum: A First Day of School Book for Kids. Geared for preschool and kindergarten children, it is highly popular, listing among the top 100 books in Amazon’s categories for Children’s Self-Esteem and Children’s School Issues.
The story begins with the delighted parents of a newborn mouse. They name her Chrysanthemum, a perfect name to express how perfect she is. Little Chrysanthemum loves her name and, by extension, loves herself. When her first day of school arrives, she is brimming with confidence and enthusiasm. But her peers make fun of her name. From this point, the story contrasts how Chrysanthemum feels when she is loved and supported at home with how she feels when teased and belittled at school. The words and illustrations show that day by day, her suffering intensifies. On the first morning of school, Chrysanthemum puts on a sunny outfit and moves joyfully toward her destination. On the second day, she wears extra-comfortable clothes and dallies along. On the third day, she fills her pockets with good luck charms and takes the longest route to school. Chrysanthemum “wilts” as she comes to believe her perfect name is DREADFUL. She feels temporary relief at home, but her worries plague her dreams. Yikes! The clear, compelling depictions of Chrysanthemum’s plight effectively kindle the reader’s compassion and empathy. Feeling for poor, innocent Chrysanthemum, the reader yearns for her peers to stop tormenting her. Yet no one calls them out on their hurtful words and actions. The classroom teacher’s only comment to the lead bully is a matter of fact, “Thank you for sharing.” At home, Chrysanthemum’s parents reassert, “your name is perfect.” They say that her classmates are just jealous. Chrysanthemum herself suffers in silence. This builds to a climax with the entry of Ms. Twinkle, the much-admired music teacher. Ms. Twinkle casts Chrysanthemum as a daisy in an upcoming show. Immediately the bullies, who received more enviable roles, erupt in a barrage of taunting chants. Still, even Ms. Twinkle does not chastise Chrysanthemum’s peers. Instead, she announces that like Chrysanthemum, her own first name is a long, flower name. Plus, she’s expecting a baby and thinks Chrysanthemum would be a perfect name for a baby girl. With these words from the esteemed Ms. Twinkle, Chrysanthemum is restored. She “blooms.” Suddenly the bullies see Chrysanthemum through a new lens, adopting Ms. Twinkle’s view. Now they try to change their own names to flower names. WAIT A MINUTE, you might be thinking. What happened here? Aren’t we writers repeatedly instructed to ensure that our main character has agency? That their trials promote the insight and skills they need to solve their own problem? Chrysanthemum just wilts or blooms according to what happens around her. And those bullies – they change their behavior, but do they ever realize how much they hurt Chrysanthemum? Are they simply, naively pivoting just to please Ms. Twinkle? This is all worth exploring. When you write your own story to promote perspective-taking and compassion, perhaps you will choose to incorporate such elements. Meanwhile, Kevin Henkes’ story, without didactic lecturing or overt modeling, masterfully evokes perspective-taking and compassion in the reader. Concepts from CASEL as applied in the book EVIE'S FIELD DAYOriginal Post: 4/1/2024 on CBA Blogfish Concepts Social-emotional learning, often abbreviated as SEL, has become increasingly important in picture books as a way to address the various challenges and pressures that children encounter today. The Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL) defines SEL as “the process through which all young people and adults acquire and apply the knowledge, skills, and attitudes to develop healthy identities, manage emotions and achieve personal and collective goals, feel and show empathy for others, establish and maintain supportive relationships, and make responsible and caring decisions” (casel.org). The social distancing of the COVID pandemic caused children to lose many opportunities to practice and develop their SEL skills in direct interaction with others. Stories can help make up for this. We can subtly embed SEL as underlying themes in engaging and wonderful stories. CASEL organizes SEL into five interconnected domains: Self-Awareness, Self-Management, Social Awareness, Relationship Skills, and Responsible Decision-Making. A related set of capabilities, Executive Function (EF) refers to competencies underlying self-control and effective planning, focus, and goal achievement. To enhance your writing on SEL themes, it's helpful to delve into these concepts. Take note of relevant research and developmental milestones in order to make your work resonate deeply with readers. In future first-Monday posts I will continue to provide inspiring examples. Application Here's a wonderful example of a picture book wherein the story comes first but the underlying SEL themes are clear if you look for them.  Evie's Field Day: More than One Way to Win Claire Noland (Author) Alicia Teba (Illustrator) Cardinal Rule Press, 2020 The book is both a plot- and a character-driven story. The opening shows Evie’s mindset and goal. In striving toward her goal, Evie experiences setbacks. She reevaluates her goal and adjusts her mindset. In the discussion below, the quoted descriptions of SEL areas are from CASEL.
Outset: At the outset, Evie identifies as a WINNER. She is confident that her athletic abilities are stronger than her peers’. She displays her many trophies in her room. Her goal is to win more trophies on Field Day. Self-Awareness includes “capacities to recognize one’s strengths and limitations with a well- grounded sense of confidence and purpose.” Evie sees herself as a strong athlete, a self-assessment that defines her interests and her goal. Setbacks: Evie loses event after event. After each loss, Evie is the only one who does not cheer the winner. We see that Evie’s Self-Awareness is underdeveloped. Her assessment of her own strengths and weaknesses is incomplete. We also see room for improvement in Evie’s Social Awareness, an area which includes “abilities to understand the perspectives of and empathize with others.” When she loses, her behavior is self-absorbed; she does not appreciate others’ strengths. Crucial Moment and Turning Point: Then, Evie takes the lead in the sack race. She is winning! However, a baby bird has fallen into the race path. Evie evaluates two paths of action. She could jump over the bird and win the race. But the racers behind her might not see the bird and jump over it (she realizes that the bird might get hurt). Evie stops. She succeeds in helping the bird, but she finishes last in the race. Evie demonstrates Responsible Decision-Making and adjusts her Self-Awareness and Social Awareness. She considers the consequences of the actions available to her. She shifts her mindset from a self-absorbed focus on winning trophies to putting the bird’s needs first. She shifts her action from competition to compassion. Resolution: Evie’s peers cheer her for helping the bird. Evie smiles. She recognizes that “some things are better than winning.” Whereas on Amazon, the book description states, “Evie was a sore loser,” this is misleading. In the story itself, the only un-sportsmanlike behavior Evie exhibits is failing to cheer the winners of the events she loses. Evie does not taunt her rivals or act out. Indeed, she gives her competitors a smile or thumbs-up as they get in position for each event. Moreover, Evie does not quit. She perseveres! Evie’s story remains tightly focused on her learning that happiness and positive attention from peers do not depend on winning a competition. She ultimately finds both in her act of compassion. As a bonus, Evie’s Field Day includes back matter with “10 Suggestions to help your child learn good sportsmanship.” I highly recommend this as both a mentor text and a comp title. |
Author
As a school psychologist, I translate children's social-emotional and impulse-control difficulties into simple terms and explain how to provide support. My published work in that arena includes a relaxation-training curriculum, articles, and book chapters. I spotlight picture books that include SEL themes, and some that resonate with my Jewish background.. What is 'SEL'?
Self-Awareness, Self-Management, Social Awareness, Relationship Skills, Responsible Decision-Making. - CASEL Archives
March 2026
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