FROM PASSIVELY PRETTY TO PRETTY DARN POWERFUL

Why do I write this blog? As a school psychologist, I’ve worked to foster children’s social-emotional development. Referencing the CASEL framework, I highlight character-driven stories that demonstrate social-emotional skills integral to successful relationships and personal achievement.
 
Stories for young children have existed long before research on social-emotional learning, however. When I was a little girl treated to an afternoon in the movie theater, the feature often was a familiar fairy tale with a glorious heroine.

Let’s look at her story arc. When we meet her, her attributes are innocence, gentle goodness, and beauty. These qualities motivate a villain to do away with her. Cinderella, a girl with no name, is enslaved, her beauty hidden beneath ashes and rags. Aurora, enchanted into a hundred-year sleep, loses her name and becomes “The Sleeping Beauty.” Snow White is poisoned. She appears dead. But being so beautiful, she is encased in glass, still to be admired. Or, to be still and admired?

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​The girl’s beauty wins the attention of a man – a prince! – who brings her back into the world. One rescues Cinderella from forced servitude. One gives the kiss of life to Aurora; another does the same for Snow White. Each prince makes each young woman his beautiful princess.

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Entranced by these tales, I myself fell under a spell, subconsciously absorbing the rules:

​Be passively pretty. Whatever happens, wait. A princely hero will choose you.
Then you’ll live “happily ever after.” There’s nothing more to want out of life.

Thankfully, today’s popular girl heroines define their own dreams and have the agency to fulfill them. My spotlight shines on one who deserves more attention: LillyBelle.

We meet LillyBelle at Miss Frilly’s school for damsels, where her favorite activities are:

“Baking GLORIOUS cakes. The taller the better!
  Playing MELODIOUS songs. The louder the better!
  Learning SPLENDID manners. The fancier the better!”

LillyBelle likes to push boundaries to flamboyant effect. The capitalized, hyperbolic descriptors and extreme goals emphasize this aspect of her personality. The illustrations of her toppling cake, amped-up guitar riffs, and well-intended manner missteps leave no doubt. We see that LillyBelle loves being a damsel, and that this particular damsel won’t be boxed in by conventional limits.

Accordingly, LillyBelle rejects Miss Frilly’s dictate that a damsel in distress “must be captured by a villain, never attempt to escape, and wait patiently for rescue.” When captured – first by a witch, then a giant, then an ogre –

“LillyBelle squirmed.
  LillyBelle screeched!
  She puffed.
  She protested!”

After each villain unceremoniously drops her in their lair – KERPLUNK! – LillyBelle skillfully takes control of the situation.
 
The arc of LillyBelle’s story is that she transforms those around her, establishing new norms. In delightful “turn-the-tables” scenes, LillyBelle instructs each villain. When she returns to school, she convincingly demonstrates the effectiveness of her ways. She thereby ascends to a leadership position: teaching a class for Damsels NOT in Distress. Even Miss Frilly ends up attending LillyBelle’s class.
 
In addition to empowering her fellow damsels, LillyBelle expands their community to include new friends: a winsome witch who bakes wondrous pies, a gentle giant who sings delightful duets, and a most mannerly ogre.
 
Joann Pastro’s use of deft language and three-beat patterns effectively enhances the tale. As noted earlier, three well-crafted lines introduce LillyBelle as a girl who pushes boundaries. Later in the story, repeated patterns empower children to anticipate the action and join in. Squirming, protesting, and “KERPLUNK!” occur each time LillyBelle is captured. A compelling refrain accompanies these three encounters:

“A damsel in distress would wait for rescue…but not LillyBelle.”

Whenever LillyBelle’s pleasant day is rudely interrupted by a villain, Pastro quickens the pace with a rapid cadence of short, staccato sentences punctuated with sharp-sounding beats. Then LillyBelle takes control, speaking in a luxuriously lengthy, formal manner that commands her captors’ attention and calm consideration. The story is great fun to read aloud –  especially if, like me, you enjoy creating unique voices for the different characters.
 
As for social-emotional skills, LillyBelle models a multitude. Her story checks many boxes within the CASEL framework:
 
SELF-AWARENESS: LillyBelle identifies her personal and social assets. She shows confidence and purpose. She experiences self-efficacy.
 
SOCIAL AWARENESS: LillyBelle takes others’ perspectives. She thereby identifies the motivating desires of the witch, the giant, and the ogre. She shows concern for others, including her captors. She recognizes opportunities presented by a situation.
 
SELF-MANAGEMENT: LillyBelle does not lose her wits or panic (in sharp contrast to her classmates, the “damsels in distress”). She shows courage to take initiative. She identifies both personal and collective goals. She plans, organizes, and acts to achieve both personal and collective goals.
 
RELATIONSHIP SKILLS: LillyBelle communicates clearly. She recognizes other persons’ needs. She works collaboratively to resolve conflict constructively. She offers help. She provides leadership.
 
RESPONSIBLE DECISION-MAKING: LillyBelle makes caring and constructive choices, balancing her personal goals and others’ needs. She evaluates the benefits and consequences of various actions for personal, social, and collective well-being. She demonstrates personal and social problem-solving. She bases her plans on data and facts. She promotes well-being for herself, her “adversaries,” and the collective community.
 
I wish I’d had LillyBelle as a role model when I was a small girl. I’m enormously glad she’s here for my granddaughters.