Empathy for the Bully

Original Post: 7/1/24 on CBA Blogfish

​“No one knows what it's like to be the bad man,
to be the sad man,
behind blue eyes...” 
 -- Pete Townshend (The Who) 

In this song an individual voices his anger and propensity to violence, along with hope that, nevertheless, someone will look out for his welfare. Themes that are much too heavy for a picture book.
 
Aren’t they?

​Author Kathryn Otosi didn't think so.

When I opened LUNCH EVERY DAY, I expected to meet a fictional protagonist striving to fix a problem or reach a goal. A victim of bullying, or a silent bystander. They would find their voice and confront the bully. Perhaps they’d even lead the bully to embrace empathy and kindness.
 
Instead, I met the bully.
 
Notice that the book’s cover does not tell you LUNCH EVERY DAY is the true story of a turning point in the life of Jim Perez, an administrator for California's Orange County Violence Prevention & Intervention Grant. Known for his work in gang prevention and anti-bullying initiatives, Jim received an Ambassador of Peace Award from the Violence Prevention Coalition of Orange County in 2013.*

But once upon a time, young Jimmy was the school bully.

In LUNCH EVERY DAY, Jimmy targets a skinny kid. Day after day, he shoves the boy and takes his lunch. Jimmy’s scorn and anger jump from the page. But Jimmy makes no excuses for his behavior. No appeals for sympathy. He barely hints at his personal difficulties: the skinny kid’s lunch is “Better than mine. Bet his home is better than mine, too.”  
 
Then everyone in the class – even Jimmy – gets an invitation to the skinny kid’s birthday party. Jimmy does go, but when he gets there, he tries to be invisible. The skinny kid’s mother notices him, though.  Jimmy appears terrified as the lady walks right up to him and …
 
… promises Jimmy she will send her son to school with an extra lunch. Every day. For him.
 
In an interview**, Jim describes that moment as “surreal,” as emerging from darkness into light. Looking back, he calls it a “seed that was planted.” A seed of  “unconditional love from a stranger.” As Jim matured, this seed grew. He has devoted his adult energies to planting such seeds.
 
LUNCH EVERY DAY does not spell it out for the reader. Instead, the story challenges the reader to make inferences, cueing us to look deeply into the text and illustrations.  We witness Jimmy’s actions, and those of the skinny kid and his mother. We frown at Jimmy’s aggression. The skinny kid's party invitation is unexpected, as is the mother's promise to provide lunches for Jimmy. We wonder.

It’s up to us to discern what’s under the surface.

Why does Jimmy behave as he does?
Why does the skinny kid still invite him to his birthday?
Why does the skinny kid’s mother treat Jimmy with such kindness?

And, at the story’s end, Jimmy says,
“I got lunch every day … and a whole lot more.”
What “more” did he get?
 
I’ll be reading and discussing this book with kids, to learn what they make of it.
Maybe you will, too!
 
* Sources:
https://www.ocregister.com/2013/06/12/about-the-violence-prevention-coalition/
https://www.bookpassage.com/event/kathryn-otoshi-lunch-every-day-online-event
 
**Kathryn Otoshi and Jim Perez discuss LUNCH EVERY DAY
https://youtu.be/uWMCw3WgFKw?si=QJS8e4u9KM8PIeNh