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June-November is hurricane season where I live. We keep an eye on the tropics, paying attention to storm watches and warnings. Whether planning our evacuation routes and destinations, packing for a stay in a hurricane shelter, or staying in our homes, we follow the instructions in our hurricane preparation guides. Referring to checklists, we take steps to safeguard our properties and stock our pantries with nonperishable food, water, medicines, and other essentials. Those of us who have generators refer to manuals that explain how to run them safely. We tune in to radio reports telling us the places to avoid due to floods and downed power lines, and the places to go in order to find or give assistance. Thanks to the plentiful announcements, guides, manuals, checklists, and news reports, we know just what to do to prepare, get through the storm, and manage until utilities, stores, and everyday services are back. But the announcements, guides, manuals, checklists, and news reports say nothing about how to handle our emotions. This month’s spotlight shines on a story that speaks to a child’s feelings in the face of the storm.  A hurricane is coming. Lupita feels worry surging through everyone around her: her parents, her friends, her neighbors, her teacher. She fills with worry, too. Will the storm gobble them up? Will it blow her house away? Will the storm last a long time? Will it knock down her favorite tree?
As Lupita navigates the storm within as well as the storm outside, she receives tender loving care. She also provides it. The Care Lupita Receives Through their words and actions, Lupita’s parents bolster her ability to manage the intense emotions stirred by the hurricane. Before the storm, Mami and Papi assure her, “It’s OK to be scared.” They reassure her, “We’ll be safer if we prepare.” Lupita watches Papi close the shutters and Mami bring the planters indoors. During the storm, Lupita and her parents stay close together. Mami and Papi distract Lupita from the howling winds and rattling shutters by playing cards and board games. When the tornado siren sounds, they lead Lupita to the sturdiest place in the house: a closet. They huddle together. When the power goes out, Lupita’s parents murmur, “It’s going to be okay.” The storm passes. Papi announces, “It’s over.” Going outside with her parents, Lupita finds the sun is shining. Along with her parents, she checks on friends and neighbors. The Care Lupita Provides As her parents prepare for the storm’s arrival, Lupita asks, “What can I do?” Lucky, her puppy needs to go outside, so Lupita takes him. Beneath the palm trees, she discovers two baby birds, palomitas. They are nestled in the grass, peeping loudly in distress. “A storm is coming!” she tells them. “Fly away! You need to stay safe!” But the palomitas are too young to fly. With the wind whipping up, they have fallen from their nest. The sky darkens. The first raindrops fall. The birds’ mother is nowhere to be seen. Lupita resolves to take care of the palomitas, and Lucky, like her parents take care of her. She will keep the animals safe and calm. Cradling the birds in her hands, Lupita brings them indoors. She decides to make them a nest, so they will be safe and secure. After considering several options, Lupita chooses an empty shoebox. She fills the bottom with shredded newspaper. The little birds snuggle in. Lupita sets out a tiny bowl of water for them. Lupita keeps her puppy and the birds near her as the family plays cards and games. When they all huddle in the closet, Lupita curls up beside the shoebox and holds Lucky in her lap. When the power goes out, Lupita uses a flashlight to check on the birds. Just like her parents do for her, she tells the palomitas and Lucky, “It’s going to be okay.” When Papi announces that the storm is over, Lupita informs the animals. When it is safe to go outside, Lupita brings the palomitas back into the yard. Along with her family and neighbors, Lupita helps to clear away debris. She is reunited with neighbors and friends…and the little birds are reunited with their mother, who arrives with the sunset. Coping and Hoping Through Lupita’s dual roles, receiving care and providing care, this story strongly models and reinforces skills for weathering the emotional storm. Self-Management: Lupita builds skills for managing her stressful emotions. Her parents’ reassuring statements provide words she uses to calm herself and the animals. The practical steps her parents take before, during, and after the storm show Lupita ways to optimize safety, keep her mind from focusing on worries, and restore order after the storm. Lupita follows her parents’ example, applying her own planning and organizational skills. She constructs a comfortable nest for the birds, keeps the animals close to her, checks on them, and verbally reassures them. Self-Awareness: By successfully caring for the palomitas, Lupita enhances her sense of self-efficacy. She does not feel helpless. She is able to rise to a challenge. Social Awareness: Lupita is aware of others’ feelings and needs. Before the hurricane, she is alert to the worries affecting her family and community. During and after the storm, she wonders whether her friends, neighbors, and teacher are safe. After the storm, she reconnects with everyone and pitches in to help with the clean-up. Lupita’s empathy and compassion extend to her puppy and the baby birds, prompting her to take action to ensure their welfare. Responsible Decision-Making: When Lupita finds the baby birds, she identifies the problem. They cannot fly away, and their mother is not there to provide whatever care she could. Lupita then devises and implements means to address the problem. An Extra-Special Story Lupita, her parents, and her puppy already provide the elements of a highly effective coping-with-a-hurricane story, but the added element of the flightless palomitas makes this book really soar. Lupita, feeling helpless, encounters the baby birds, who are far more helpless. The interplay of Lupita both receiving care and giving care amplifies the social-emotional threads, making this an especially empowering story for readers. Alexandra Alassandri’s author’s note adds another boost, as we learn how Lupita’s caretaking role was inspired. Just before a hurricane, Alexandra and her family discovered baby mourning doves in a fallen nest. They cared for the tiny birds during the storm, and, yes, when the storm passed, the birds’ mother returned. An Educator's Guide On the publisher’s website, Beaming Books provides an educator’s guide that includes social-emotional activities. Children can use the “Anxious Storm Clouds,” to identify things that make them nervous, and the “Rainbow of Hope” to explore ways to cope with big, overwhelming emotions.
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“Make your main character likeable. Even if they are unlikeable, show something likeable about them.” This is common advice for writing a story with an unappealing protagonist. By showing the readers something redemptive, something sympathetic, the readers will root for them. But what if the main character is a bully? Readers don’t want to root for them. Readers want to see the consequences of their awful behavior. Will the bully get their comeuppance? Will they come around to a new, empathetic mindset? Let’s look at three stories whose main characters are bullies: YERTLE THE TURTLE by Dr. Seuss, BRING ME A ROCK! by Daniel Miyares, and LUNCH EVERY DAY by Kathryn Otoshi.  Yertle, king of the turtles, lives in a clean, warm pond, with plenty to eat. He has everything he needs. But he wants more. Since he is the “ruler of all that I see,” he needs to see more. He needs a tall, tall throne. Yertle commands the other turtles to stand on each other’s backs. He settles himself on top. He’s never satisfied, so this goes on and on. The turtles pile on and the tower grows. Mack, the “plain little turtle” at the bottom, meekly wonders how long he and the others must stand there. He tells Yertle of their suffering. They’re in pain. They’re starving. Their shells will crack. But Yertle intends to rise higher than the moon. Lacking empathy, he remains unswayed, until… Mack burps. The “throne” trembles. Then, PLUNK! Yertle falls headfirst into the pond. From then on, he remains miserably stuck in the mud. The turtles he tormented are free!  This bully, a grasshopper, also is a king. Like Yertle, he is certain of his superiority, and he demands service. At his command, the other bugs bring big rocks. When the smallest bug arrives with a “puny pebble,” he orders the “little bug” to go away. The king has the large rocks stacked into a “majestic pedestal.” He lounges on top, relaxing with his drink. But the drink spills. The king slips. The tower wobbles, and he slides to the edge of the teetering top. “HELP!” he cries. The tiny bug jams his little pebble into just the right spot. The tower is balanced. The king comes around, at least a bit. “You saved my life! However can I repay you?” The little bug rearranges the rocks into towers of equal height. Now everyone, from the king to the runt, is on the same level. We’re not told how the king feels about it.  My ‘Spotlights’ blog post “Empathy for the Bully” (Feb. 2025) discussed LUNCH EVERY DAY in detail. The main character is a surly, aggressive boy who repeatedly steals his classmate’s lunch. But the consequence that changes everything is not a downfall. It’s a lift-up. As we follow the bullying boy, we discover that beneath his hard exterior is a sad child who is deprived, beaten, and hungry. He lacks food and love. He is convinced that he has no value, and he resents that the other kids’ lives are better than his. Their homes are better. Their lunches are better. He knocks them down, a show of strength meant to compensate for his own weakness. The mother of the child he torments surprises him. Instead of punishing him, she promises to make him lunch, every day…and she does. Her kindness teaches him he does have value. He begins to believe in himself. LUNCH EVERY DAY is a true story. That boy is now an adult. His name is Jim Perez. At the end of the book we learn that Jim is known for his community leadership, anti-bullying and gang prevention initiatives. Jim earned an Ambassador of Peace Award from the Violence Prevention Coalition of Orange County California. What do you want to see in a "bully" story:
comeuppance, come around, or both? Imagine that your every action must be perfect. It’s paralyzing! I observed a third-grade teacher leading her class in discussing “Sam,” the main character of a book they were reading. The teacher asked, “What does Sam’s bedroom look like? Not a single had went up. Why not? Because the students believed they had to give the right answer. But the book had not included a description of Sam’s bedroom. No one knew the right answer. And no one would risk giving the wrong answer. Perceiving this, the teacher rephrased her question. “Based on what you know about Sam, what do you think his bedroom looked like?” Hands flew up! In this month’s featured book, Beatrice Bottomwell is the epitome of perfection. She makes sure her clothes match, her hamster is fed, her homework is done, and so on. Her routines run like clockwork. Beatrice literally has never made a mistake. She knows it. The whole town knows it. Every morning, as Beatrice heads to school, fans and photographers surround her. Most of the people don’t even know Beatrice’s name. They know her only as THE GIRL WHO NEVER MADE MISTAKES.  Beatrice’s infallibility contrasts with her younger brother’s “anything goes” approach to life. Carl makes lots of mistakes. He enjoys experimenting. Carl nibbles on his crayons. He plays the piano with his feet. Beatrice is an excellent juggler. She’s always won the annual talent show. Everyone, including Beatrice, expects her to deliver another flawless performance this year. But the morning of the show, while Beatrice is busy with her cooking team, she almost makes a “mistake.” She nearly drops the eggs. Let’s take a moment to notice Beatrice’s mindset. Beatrice views herself as entirely responsible for ensuring perfection. Accordingly, any deviation from perfection must be her fault. What actually happened is this: Beatrice slipped on rhubarb a classmate had dropped on the floor. We would call this an accident, not a mistake. If the eggs had broken as a result, we would call that an accident, too. But in Beatrice’s mind, if the eggs had broken, it would have been a MISTAKE. It would have been HER mistake. It would have spoiled her perfect record. That afternoon, Beatrice walks through the park. Some of her friends are ice-skating on the frozen pond. They invite her to join them as they wobble, slip, fall, giggle, and try again. Beatrice decides it’s too risky. And she can’t shake the feeling that she’ll mess up at the talent show, in front of the whole town. That night, when she steps onto the stage, the audience calls out, “The Girl Who Never Makes Mistakes!” “We know she’ll be perfect!” I don’t want to spoil the next part for you. It’s best for you to see for yourself. Beatrice’s act is a juggling act. It’s an outrageous juggling act. And it goes outrageously wrong. It's a catastrophe! Beatrice freezes. The audience freezes. But suddenly, Beatrice’s perception flips: It’s HILARIOUS! Like a pin poked into a balloon, Beatrice’s change-of-mindset breaks the tension. “Beatrice and the audience laughed until they couldn’t remember why they were laughing.” From that point on, freed of the restraints of perfectionism, Beatrice enjoys experimenting. Which leads to excellent adventures with Carl. And lots of fun learning how to ice-skate, wobbles, falls, and all. “Now, people no longer call her the Girl Who Never Makes Mistakes. They just call her Beatrice.” To sum up...
You’ve probably heard the saying, “Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good.” You’ve probably also heard, “Don’t take yourself too seriously.” These are popular sayings. I think the story of THE GIRL WHO NEVER MADE MISTAKES says it better. When events are spinning out of control, when loss is unbearable, we strive to steady ourselves. Cling to a lifeline. Find firm ground and plant our feet. Ideally, we find the strength and comfort we need to re-settle, re-center, and carry on. But it’s possible to get stuck, like Dexter does in this month’s spotlighted picture book, READY TO SMILE AGAIN.  Dexter is a chipmunk whose world is turned upside-down, quite literally, when the tree in which he lives falls. Suddenly he is homeless. His belongings are scattered over the ground, all dinged, chipped, and dirtied. But ever so precious to him.
Dexter rushes to recover his toys, dishes, books, and so on. Keen to keep them safe and secure, he crams his damaged possessions into his chipmunk cheeks. Friends, neighbors, and teachers are eager to help Dexter. They reach out, asking, “Are you OK?” and “Can I help?” Derek is unable to answer them, lest his belongings fall from his mouth. Besides, “He didn’t feel like talking or smiling anyway… All that mattered now was that Dexter knew his things were safe.” Despite Dexter’s silence, his friends, neighbors, teacher, etc. stand by him. When he does not answer, they quietly sit with him, help him set up his new home, give him hugs. Finally, one day, he thinks about their help, their kind words, their warm hugs. About “how his friends made him want to smile even when he wasn’t quite ready.” He realized they had made him feel better. “He wasn’t as scared anymore.” So Dexter tries to answer the next friend who asks, “How are you?” He tries to say. “Pretty good,” but with his cheeks stuffed, his words are unintelligible. “Piffy goob.” “Pwebby bood.” “Priffy goob.” “Briddy doob.” “Pwibby goob!” His efforts give the friend the giggles, and Dexter feels laughter bubbling up inside him, too. The laughter feels so good that Dexter realizes that he’s ready to keep laughing and smiling. And to do that, he has to unpack his cheeks. Holding on to everything is holding him back. When viewing Dexter’s story through the lens of social-emotional competencies, we see Derek’s needs and growth. We also see how Derek’s community responds to his predicament. In the area of Self-Management, Dexter’s story illustrates risks associated with limited or ineffective coping skills. Dexter tries to manage his distress by preventing further change. He strives to control what ultimately is beyond his control. After a while, Dexter realizes this approach is not sustainable. Instead of feeling more secure, he is stuck in a state of alarm, frozen in his fears. The area of Social Awareness includes awareness of community resources. Derek’s community does rally around him, offering support and resources. The characters in the book model empathy and compassion. They demonstrate ways to ease a friend’s suffering: just show up, stay nearby, listen quietly, give a hug, help with specific tasks that need to be done. Derek recognizes and appreciates their efforts, even when he is not yet smiling or speaking. Eventually, he is moved to begin interacting with his community again. Competencies in the area of Relationship Skills usually are described in terms of how to communicate with others and build positive interpersonal relationships. Derek’s story illustrates another aspect of Relationship Skills: accepting help. When others come to check on him and help him, he does not push them away. He accepts their help and kindness, and ultimately, “Because of them, Dexter felt better. He wasn’t as scared anymore.” READY TO SMILE AGAIN is a powerful resource for children who have experienced trauma, and for the people – including other children – who want to help them. It’s amazing what kids can do. Take, for example, this story of a young woman named Victoria who turns discarded, unwanted clothing into lovely, lively, fashionable pieces that are sold to fund a hospice program (Thrift Shop Buried Under 'Rags' Gets Helping Hand). Victoria’s sewing skills and her savvy abilities to transform thrift shop items took root when she was only 10 years old. We see similar know-how in this month’s spotlighted book, NANCY BESS HAD A DRESS.  This lovely book won the Children’s Book Council’s 2025 Librarians' Favorite Award. It also
was a 2024 Foreward INDIES Finalist for Picture Book of the Year. Splendid reviews recommend it as a window into American history and a model for encouraging sustainability and conservation. But here, we’ll look at how this story highlights certain competencies in the social-emotional areas of Self-Awareness, Self-Management, and Responsible Decision-Making. During the Great Depression and World War II, staples such as flour and grain were sold in cotton sacks. When the sacks were empty, women used the fabric to make dresses and other household items. Companies began making the sacks in attractive prints. Nancy’s story starts when she and her mother are purchasing a sack of flour. Nancy chooses a sack with a daisy print. She helps her mother measure out flour and bake. When the sack finally is empty, she helps measure, cut the fabric, and stitch her new dress. Plus, she saves the unused bits of fabric. From this point on, Nancy measures, cuts, stitches, and saves the unused bits each time there is a reason to repurpose the fabric. Additional refrains, “Waste not, want not” and “Nancy Bess knew how to make do” further highlight her initiative, industry and thriftiness. When Nancy outgrows the dress, she makes herself an apron. When the apron tears, she makes herself a satchel. When the satchel’s strap rips, she sews herself a scarf. When the scarf gets stained, she makes herself a belt. When the belt gets tattered, she makes herself a hairbow. When her hair is cut short for the summer, she turns the hairbow into a collar for her puppy. At each step, we see Nancy actively crafting and then using the repurposed items she made. A dress for school and social outings, an apron to protect her clothes while doing chores, a bag for carrying her schoolbooks, and so on. Eventually, all that is left of the flour sack is “the unused bits,” which Nancy has kept in a basket, along with other scraps of fabric. She still can make something useful! Nancy sews the remaining squares into a pretty patchwork quilt to tuck around her new, baby sibling. What social-emotional competencies can we pull from these threads?
Let’s not limit children to shining only through progress in academics, sports, and other such realms. Kids can develop and demonstrate practical know-how. Like Nancy, like Victoria, a child whose know-how is nurtured can reap – and provide - boundless benefits. Picture the shining eyes of a child celebrating another milestone. “I can do it, all by myself!” What of a pampered child who never needs to lift a finger? Does such indulgence make them happier than the child tackling tricky steps toward independence? The month before I left home for college, I suddenly realized I’d taken a lot for granted. I didn’t know how to use a washer and dryer! I’d never shopped for groceries! Studying was something I knew how to do. Being completely responsible for myself was entirely new. I made a concentrated effort to learn how to make sure I’d have clean clothing and food to eat. My parents moved me into the dorm room and drove away, leaving me with a stranger: my randomly-assigned roommate, “Cindy.” That first weekend, I was amazed to discover how worldly-wise I was. I suggested we have a sandwich. Cindy wailed, “I don’t know how to make a sandwich!” I ordered a pizza. Cindy did not know how to remove a slice from the pie! When I put water on to boil, Cindy immediately peered into the pot and asked, “Why aren’t there any bubbles?” For her, everyday practicalities were overwhelming obstacles. When Cindy’s older sister came to visit, it all became clear. Hour after hour, Cindy lay in bed, studying. She only got up when absolutely necessary (to attend class, or for personal hygiene). Cindy’s sister waited on her, hand and foot. Along these lines, let’s take a look at THE PALACE RAT, with the help of the CASEL lens of social-emotional learning.  At the grand palace in Versailles, Henri enjoys a life of luxury. As the darling pet of Louis XIV, Henri dines on delicacies and wears tailored clothes. Each evening, Henri performs his only task: he tells a bedtime story to lull King Louis to sleep. Then, comfy-cozy, Henri slumbers on a pile of satin pillows.
The cook, the tailor, and even the queen resent the spoiled rat. They carry out a devious plan. Henri finds himself alone in the countryside, far, far away from the palace. Declaring, “Palace life is the only life I know,” Henri vows to make his way back to King Louis. But before he makes the journey, there are a few things he needs to do. First of all, Henri is hungry. The local peasants (a family of mice) inform him there is no find food, no cook to prepare haute cuisine, no servant to deliver it on a silver tray. Swallowing his horror, Henri joins them as they scrounge through trash. While foraging, Henri snags and soils his shirt. Catastrophe! He cannot return to the palace so disheveled. The mice explain that there are no lovely silk and velvet fabrics, nor is there a tailor. Henri must make do with scraps and rags. Fatigued from the efforts of acquiring food and clothing, Henri seeks a night’s rest. Alas, there are no pillows of satin and goose down, no floral sachets. Not even a roof over Henri’s head! Henri must sleep in an open field. As he bemoans his suffering, longing for rescue, we see that he is sorely lacking a variety of social-emotional competencies. Confident that his needs will be met quite splendidly, he has never tested his abilities. Accordingly, he is unaware of his capabilities, his strengths and limitations. Quite satisfied with his status quo, he has no goals or growth mindset. Pleased with all that has been provided to him, he has never needed to solve a problem. Henri’s Self-Awareness, Self-Management, and Responsible Decision-Making are unsprouted seeds. Henri believes fending for himself will be his undoing. He is quite surprised to find that he does not fall apart. While scavenging, he finds strawberries sweeter than the palace pastries and bits of cheese worthy of a king’s feast. From fabric scraps, he fashions a tunic that he finds suitably stylish and…fashionable! He sleeps in a field fragrant with lavender, under stars more sparkly than the place chandeliers. And the mice don’t snore through Henri’s stories! He attracts crowds of fascinated listeners! HE’S MADE FRIENDS! In addition to discovering pleasures around him, Henri has acquired inner competencies. He has experienced agency and self-efficacy. He has acquired confidence and purpose. Ousted from his narrow (though luxurious) space, Henri finds he enjoys exploring an open world, with an open mind. This new life is sumptuously rich! Henri finds pride in being a Country Rat, pride born of accomplishment rather than entitlement. Far from his undoing, fending for himself has been the making of him. Oh, and my roommate, Cindy? She definitely learned to master practicalities. She became an engineer! When working with kids who are afraid of trying, lest they fail, I tell them I have a “perfect” necklace made of gold. They agree that it’s valuable. Then I ask them to look closely at my golden necklace, to check that it is perfect.  As you (and they) can see, the T is crooked. The quirk in this necklace is intentional. Must something be perfect to be valuable? Which brings us to this month’s spotlighted book, a story of growth in Self-Awareness and Self-Management.  We meet Mira in a gymnastics class. Arms folded protectively over her chest, face frozen in anxiety, she watches everyone else tumble, leap, and balance with ease.
We see that in the past, Mira started many other things, such as playing guitar, painting, and ballet. She quickly cast each aside. Why? Because her first try was not perfect. To Mira’s eyes, all the other children were excelling. “Everyone else was already a natural.” But her imperfect first tries always set her mind spinning with worries. She would make mistakes! People would laugh at her! So “Mira never got to the second of anything.” She would not try again, and she refused further lessons. It’s clear that Mira will drop out of gymnastics, too – this first class will be her last class. Neither the text or illustrations show that Mira ever has been teased or failed dramatically, so catastrophic mistakes and ridicule are not Mira’s past experience. They are Mira’s private fears, fears strong enough to send her into solitude, afraid to do anything at all. Now Mira stands alone in a small, sheltered cove. But she finds that even then, she cannot relax. She remembers the other children’s twirls and laughter. Her body wants to move. A nearby log resembles a balance beam. Mira’s restless longing spurs her to try. She steps up… Of course, she wobbles. But with no one watching, Mira finds herself focusing on how her movements make her feel, instead of imagining how others might judge her. Even her wobbles and missteps feel more fun than she expected. She keeps trying, even when she finds she does have an audience: a dog and a cat. Mira is on a social-emotional journey toward stronger Self-Awareness and Self-Management. At the start, both these capacities are out-of-balance. Mira is quite alert to her limitations, but she is ignorant of her strengths. She is unable to manage her fear of failure, so she gives up trying. Then Mira eases herself into trying and trying again. She calms her fear as she tries alone, continues trying with the animals watching, and comes to associate trying with feelings of pleasure and accomplishment. As she tries and tries again, she develops a growth mindset and experiences self-efficacy. Mira changes her view of herself, and she adjusts her expectations and goals. Realizing that she is “perfect at growing,” she abandons her futile quest for instant perfection. Now Mira finds satisfaction in working toward improvement. She experiences increased motivation, newfound agency and initiative. On the last page, Mira’s triumphant posture and smile tell us she will carry this newly-grounded self into her very first second class – at the gym. Every day, we grown-ups are inundated with messages urging us to mistrust, exclude, and expel certain people. How do we “grow up” to this? Children do not find these attitudes modeled in picture books. Quite the opposite. As major holidays approach for many of us, my spotlight this month shines on JACKIE’S GIFT: A True Story of Christmas, Hanukkah and Jackie Robinson, written by the great man’s daughter, Sharon Robinson.  Tilden Avenue, Brooklyn, NY, 1948. The house two doors down from Stevie Satlow’s was empty. A Black family was due to move in. Some of the neighbors circulated a petition to block them. The Satlows refused to sign the hostile document. After all, Stevie’s Jewish grandparents had come to the United States to flee persecution. It was Jackie Robinson’s family that moved in. The previous year, Jackie’s appearance as first baseman for the Brooklyn Dodgers had ended decades of racial segregation in Major League baseball. When his mother brought Jackie’s wife a welcome gift, Stevie went along. He told Rachel Robinson he was a huge fan of the Dodgers and Jackie. Rachel promised to take him to a game. When that happened, Stevie even got to walk home with Jackie! On Christmas Eve morning, Stevie helped Jackie, Rachel, and Jackie Jr. decorate their tree. “Have you decorated your tree yet?” Jackie asked him. “We don’t have one,” Steve replied. Jackie gifted a tree for the Satlows, along with extra lights and ornaments. Awkwardness ensued. Stevie’s father explained they were Jewish. Stevie’s mother worried how her Orthodox mother would react. The Robinsons, embarrassed, apologized for their mistake. Stevie laughed at the adults’ worries. He reminded his father, “You always tell me to accept gifts in the spirit that they’re given.” Soon everyone was laughing, nodding at Stevie as his father declared, “This Jewish family is going to have a Christmas tree and a menorah this year.”  Sharon Robinson was not yet born when the events of this story took place. However, the families formed a lifelong bond, and they often told “the Christmas tree story.” In her Author’s Note, Sharon says, “Now I hope our story will inspire families for generations to look beyond race and religion and into people’s hearts.”
This story’s contribution to social-emotional learning is self-evident. JACKIE’S GIFT shows the joy that grows from bringing diverse people together in a climate of acceptance, generosity, and love. Jackie said, “A life isn’t significant except for its impact on others’ lives.” How shall we impact each other? Shall we erect barriers, or rejoice in taking them down? What shall we celebrate? Many years ago, I had the privilege of teaming with a group of individuals representing disparate viewpoints. We lived on an island and needed to modernize aspects of the public schools. Though various plans were proposed, it seemed whatever met the needs of one group thwarted the interests of another. A process was devised to find a solution that balanced the diverse perspectives. A task team was created, comprised of individuals representing each group of stakeholders: labor, management, teacher, parent, etc. The team was charged with developing a solution ALL its members found agreeable. A plan would be approved only by100% consensus, not by majority vote. Our first step toward that goal was working together to discover beliefs and values with which we all agreed: to find our common ground. A glance at the CASEL SEL Framework reveals that the success of this approach (which was successful!) required team members with highly developed Relationship Skills.  In this month’s spotlighted story, THE FORT, two children lay claim to the same location: an old tree fort in their neighborhood woods. Will they each stand their ground, or find common ground?  Each child believes the fort to be their own special place. For the boy, it is a castle, and he is a prince. For the girl, it is a pirate ship, and she is captain. One day, prince leaves out his written plan for a royal feast. When he returns the next day, he finds a treasure map scribbled on the other side of it, and an eyepatch on the floor. A pirate has invaded his castle! The prince searches for more evidence of the pirate. Whatever he finds, he throws out of his castle. When the prince is gone, the pirate returns. She trips over a crown. A prince has raided her ship! She swabs the decks, getting rid of anything royal. Soon the prince and pirate encounter each other. The prince bans the pirate from the castle. “If you don’t stay out, I will put you in the dungeon!” The pirate refuses to abandon her ship. “If you don’t leave, I’ll make you walk the gangplank!” The story pivots when the angry prince mocks the idea of living on a “stinky” pirate ship. “I’d rather go to the moon!” Suddenly, the girl imagines exploring space, rather than the seven seas. The boy imagines commanding a mission, rather than a kingdom. They become fellow astronauts. Now the wooden boards that formed the castle’s “drawbridge” and the ship’s “gangplank” are their spacecraft’s “hatch.” Soon, they’ve gone through their preparations, strap in, and start the countdown. Which, meaningfully, ends not with division, but unity:  Why do I write this blog? As a school psychologist, I’ve worked to foster children’s social-emotional development. Referencing the CASEL framework, I highlight character-driven stories that demonstrate social-emotional skills integral to successful relationships and personal achievement. Stories for young children have existed long before research on social-emotional learning, however. When I was a little girl treated to an afternoon in the movie theater, the feature often was a familiar fairy tale with a glorious heroine.  Let’s look at her story arc. When we meet her, her attributes are innocence, gentle goodness, and beauty. These qualities motivate a villain to do away with her. Cinderella, a girl with no name, is enslaved, her beauty hidden beneath ashes and rags. Aurora, enchanted into a hundred-year sleep, loses her name and becomes “The Sleeping Beauty.” Snow White is poisoned. She appears dead. But being so beautiful, she is encased in glass, still to be admired. Or, to be still and admired?  The girl’s beauty wins the attention of a man – a prince! – who brings her back into the world. One rescues Cinderella from forced servitude. One gives the kiss of life to Aurora; another does the same for Snow White. Each prince makes each young woman his beautiful princess. Entranced by these tales, I myself fell under a spell, subconsciously absorbing the rules: Be passively pretty. Whatever happens, wait. A princely hero will choose you. Then you’ll live “happily ever after.” There’s nothing more to want out of life. Thankfully, today’s popular girl heroines define their own dreams and have the agency to fulfill them. My spotlight shines on one who deserves more attention: LillyBelle.  We meet LillyBelle at Miss Frilly’s school for damsels, where her favorite activities are: “Baking GLORIOUS cakes. The taller the better! Playing MELODIOUS songs. The louder the better! Learning SPLENDID manners. The fancier the better!” LillyBelle likes to push boundaries to flamboyant effect. The capitalized, hyperbolic descriptors and extreme goals emphasize this aspect of her personality. The illustrations of her toppling cake, amped-up guitar riffs, and well-intended manner missteps leave no doubt. We see that LillyBelle loves being a damsel, and that this particular damsel won’t be boxed in by conventional limits. Accordingly, LillyBelle rejects Miss Frilly’s dictate that a damsel in distress “must be captured by a villain, never attempt to escape, and wait patiently for rescue.” When captured – first by a witch, then a giant, then an ogre – “LillyBelle squirmed. LillyBelle screeched! She puffed. She protested!” After each villain unceremoniously drops her in their lair – KERPLUNK! – LillyBelle skillfully takes control of the situation. The arc of LillyBelle’s story is that she transforms those around her, establishing new norms. In delightful “turn-the-tables” scenes, LillyBelle instructs each villain. When she returns to school, she convincingly demonstrates the effectiveness of her ways. She thereby ascends to a leadership position: teaching a class for Damsels NOT in Distress. Even Miss Frilly ends up attending LillyBelle’s class. In addition to empowering her fellow damsels, LillyBelle expands their community to include new friends: a winsome witch who bakes wondrous pies, a gentle giant who sings delightful duets, and a most mannerly ogre. Joann Pastro’s use of deft language and three-beat patterns effectively enhances the tale. As noted earlier, three well-crafted lines introduce LillyBelle as a girl who pushes boundaries. Later in the story, repeated patterns empower children to anticipate the action and join in. Squirming, protesting, and “KERPLUNK!” occur each time LillyBelle is captured. A compelling refrain accompanies these three encounters: “A damsel in distress would wait for rescue…but not LillyBelle.” Whenever LillyBelle’s pleasant day is rudely interrupted by a villain, Pastro quickens the pace with a rapid cadence of short, staccato sentences punctuated with sharp-sounding beats. Then LillyBelle takes control, speaking in a luxuriously lengthy, formal manner that commands her captors’ attention and calm consideration. The story is great fun to read aloud – especially if, like me, you enjoy creating unique voices for the different characters.
As for social-emotional skills, LillyBelle models a multitude. Her story checks many boxes within the CASEL framework: SELF-AWARENESS: LillyBelle identifies her personal and social assets. She shows confidence and purpose. She experiences self-efficacy. SOCIAL AWARENESS: LillyBelle takes others’ perspectives. She thereby identifies the motivating desires of the witch, the giant, and the ogre. She shows concern for others, including her captors. She recognizes opportunities presented by a situation. SELF-MANAGEMENT: LillyBelle does not lose her wits or panic (in sharp contrast to her classmates, the “damsels in distress”). She shows courage to take initiative. She identifies both personal and collective goals. She plans, organizes, and acts to achieve both personal and collective goals. RELATIONSHIP SKILLS: LillyBelle communicates clearly. She recognizes other persons’ needs. She works collaboratively to resolve conflict constructively. She offers help. She provides leadership. RESPONSIBLE DECISION-MAKING: LillyBelle makes caring and constructive choices, balancing her personal goals and others’ needs. She evaluates the benefits and consequences of various actions for personal, social, and collective well-being. She demonstrates personal and social problem-solving. She bases her plans on data and facts. She promotes well-being for herself, her “adversaries,” and the collective community. I wish I’d had LillyBelle as a role model when I was a small girl. I’m enormously glad she’s here for my granddaughters. |
Author
As a school psychologist, I translate children's social-emotional and impulse-control difficulties into simple terms and explain how to provide support. My published work in that arena includes a relaxation-training curriculum, articles, and book chapters. In this blog, I spotlight picture books that include SEL themes. In so doing, I draw upon the CASEL model of social-emotional learning (SEL). What is 'SEL'?
Self-Awareness, Self-Management, Social Awareness, Relationship Skills, Responsible Decision-Making. - CASEL 
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